


Normal is kind of overrated

by Jeuji



Series: Should have stayed home today [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hand Jobs, M/M, Mpreg, This story took a turn I wasn't expecting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-01
Updated: 2013-02-01
Packaged: 2017-11-27 19:02:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/665381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeuji/pseuds/Jeuji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek is crazy, his father probably should have shot him, and Deaton is no help.</p><p>Or the one where Stiles is in fact the only sane person left on the planet.</p><p> </p><p>(Way too much angst, but ends in porn so, eh.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Normal is kind of overrated

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a joke, now I don't even know what to think.

So this was it, life sucks and he should probably just call quits right now.

Oh wait, that’s right, he can’t.

Why? Because he’s pregnant.

Yeah that’s right, pregnant. Oh sure, after his brain caught up with him, and his body stopped spewing an alarming amount of vomit (and, ugh, jizz), he thought to himself. ‘Wait, I have a penis, and as such cannot get **pregnant’,** so after brushing his teeth, he returned to a now (thankfully) clothes Derek, sitting on his bed looking especially miserable.

“Get dressed.” Derek stood, throwing Stiles a pair of pants. Flailing, Stiles caught them, clutching them like a life line; Derek wouldn’t look at him.

“So, are we going to talk about this?” He asked, dropping them again, in favor of grabbing underwear and a pair of his softest sweats. (Because there is no way his ass will appreciate anything but uber well-worn sweats at this point.)

Derek glared at his desk lamp instead, “there’s nothing to talk about, and I’m taking you to Deaton.” His arms crossed, looking alarmingly well put together for someone in only a pair of pants, and a t-shirt way too small for him (damn, another t-shirt lost to the muscles of Derek Hale). Oh and let’s not forget the sex, he looks really good for someone who just spent the last 45 minutes or so fucking him.

Stiles raised a brow, “no, I’m pretty sure we don’t have to see Deaton, unless the werewolf gene is suddenly transferred through rectal insertion with semen.”

The werewolf’s expression pained, sighing Derek ran a hand through his hair. “Stiles, we are going to Deaton, you- you need to see him,” the alpha wolf went to push past him, but Stiles stopped him.

“No- no, wait, we aren’t going to Deaton’s, you are going to leave, or- or stay, I don’t care which, then I’m going to sit down, very gently, and go to sleep.” Stiles said, pushing past him, lying down on the bed. He curled up on himself, at this point he had no idea what Derek would do, would the man leave, would he stay, who knew.

With a loud huff Derek was suddenly there, huddling up to Stiles, spooning him.

“A secret snuggler eh?” mocked the young man, the alpha only tightened his grip. “Shut up and go to sleep,” Derek gritted out, Stiles rolled his eyes.

Shifting closer, Stiles began to drift off, “you’re crazy you know that?” He mumbled, Derek hummed lightly. “I’m a boy, boys can’t get pregnant silly,” Stiles voice was soft, sweetly being drawn into sleep.

Derek stilled, then nuzzled the back of Stiles neck, “we’ll go see Deaton in the morning, he’ll explain, now sleep.”

Stiles fell asleep to the sound of Derek’s calming breath.

***************************

Stiles awoke to the sounds of birds and a throbbing headache.

“Grhnnsmph,” Stiles moan, shifting in the bed, his whole body ached something awful. Last night- oh yes, last night.

His memories came back to him.

Stiles groaned loudly, cupping his head in his hands. “What have I done.” He mumbled in anguish, sitting up. Looking around his room, he realized Derek was no were to be found; much to his disappointment.

After rolling around in his bed some more he finally got up, praising whatever lord let this shit storm of an event happen on a Friday. Now Saturday morning, he was able to lazy his way through the day, and (hopefully) ice the huge pain in his ass. (Literally)

So of course the last thing he was expecting was his father to be sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee with Derek Hale across the way doing the same.

Both men looked up at him at the same time (though Derek probably heard him wake up, the creep), his father looked about ready to kill someone, and Derek looked like he was about to be killed.

“Uh…hey there, wha-what’s going on?” Stiles muttered, trying to look nonchalant but failing miserably. “Stiles, would you mind telling me why Derek here thinks you two are dating?” Stiles turned to Derek, eyes wide, he opened his mouth only to shut it seconds later; he honestly had nothing to say.

Derek seemed to be miming something with his eye brows. (Or sign, Stiles couldn’t quite tell.)

“Uhh, well dad, there is something I’ve been meaning to tell you…” Stiles began, his father cut him off. “No, you are not dating.” His father said angrily, “So don’t even try to convince me you are.”

“But-“Stiles tried again, “No, don’t even. I have known you your whole life, through all of you crushes, that includes the Scott fiasco, and a decade of her majesty Lydia. If you were dating Derek, you wouldn’t be shutting up about it,” his father had set his coffee down and was shooting glares at Derek, “and don’t try and pull the underage card, you’ve been legal for 4 months.”

Stiles floundered, then blushed, “well, dating is strong word…” His father shot a murderous stare Derek way, the man at least had the decency to keep eye contact.

“Then what the hell would you call it?” His father demanded, face shooting over to Stiles, the young man swallowed hard, “because those hickies weren’t there yesterday”. “Uh, I-I, Derek?” He asked pathetically, the man in question continued to stare at the father and son duo.

“Sheriff.” “Derek.”

The alpha squirmed under the scrutiny, “how much of the past few weeks has Stiles told you about?” asked Derek, the Sheriff raised an un-amused brow.

“Enough, and if this is going where I think it’s going so help me, I’m calling Argent, “his father grounded out, Derek winced.

“Dad..” his father cut him off once again, “Stiles, not now. Go on Derek.”

Derek stared at his hands, as if hoping they could get him out of this, “its-it’s not what you think, well, part of it is, but not in the context.” The elder Stilinski made a motion for him to continue.

“The only reason I sought out Stiles was because of- of pre-existing feelings,” Stiles made a noise, eyes going wide starring at Derek.  “I’m sorry, come again?” Asked Stiles, Derek looked up at him.

“It wasn’t random that I- that the wolf chose you, you have- certain qualities,” Derek was struggling to find the words, his father was slowly growing more and more amused by the minute.

“So you’re saying you care for my son,” Derek opened his mouth, a blush spreading across his cheeks. “Something like that.”

“So why lie about dating then?” His father finally took a sip of his coffee, eyes watching Derek from above the cup.

Stiles blinked, he was curious too, sure he would play along with whatever reason Derek had, but he still wanted to know.

“There were certain circumstances to our- our situation that will come to light, but before I have to take Stiles to Deaton,” his father looked alarmed, then turned to his son. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” The sheriff turned on Derek, “did you hurt him?”

Derek shook his head, “dad, calm down, I’m fine.” His father nodded, “I assume then Deaton is simply for supernatural reasons?” Derek nodded, his father stood, straightening his uniform.

“Well, Derek, as we discussed before, I might not be fully comfortable with you and my son,” he glanced at Stiles, then back at Derek, “but, you seem to care about him, now sort yourselves out.”

With that his father left the kitchen; neither Stiles nor Derek moved, even long after his father had left the house.

“So, why are we going to Deaton’s?” asked Stiles finally, walking over to the fridge. “I told you last night,” Derek said, face turning to disgust as Stiles drank from the milk jug. “Right before you fell asleep,” Derek elaborated, Stiles paused, “not really, you were pretty hyped up on werewolf mojo, and kind of didn’t make any sense.”

Derek frowned, “I was clear headed by the time I told you that,” Stiles sighed. “Derek, you told me I was pregnant, I’m pretty sure you were far gone,” the man in question only raised an eyebrow, “which is crazy talk, because I am a male, and do not have any of the necessary body parts to carry a child.”

Derek sighed, standing to walk over to Stiles, the young man set the milk down on the counter. Raising a hand, Derek let it rest on Stiles stomach, “I didn’t believe the rumors, about Alpha males, but I could tell as soon as it was over, your scent.” Leaning in, he ran his nose along Stiles throat, against the purple bruises he had left there.

Stiles shivered, “Derek, stop, this is crazy- you’re crazy,” but even as he said it, the words rang false, would Derek lie about this? His thoughts were interrupted by Derek’s tongue running up his neck.

He grasped Derek’s shoulder, “d-dude, my neck probably already looks like a murder victim, no more.”

Reluctantly Derek pulled away, but kept his hands firmly on Stiles hips, “go get dressed, we’re leaving in 10 minutes, whether you’re ready or not.”

Stiles nodded, prying himself from Derek to run upstairs.

He quickly showered, washing last night’s transgressions from his thighs (uhgh). Jumping out of the shower he finally got a chance to take a good look at himself, aside from the hickies he looked really good, hell you could use the term glowing even.

He didn’t really pay attention to the clothes he was throwing on, after all it was just a trip to Deaton’s, and the man could care less about what he was wearing. He ended up down the stairs with two minutes to spare, Derek standing in front of the door waiting, Stiles coat in an outstretched arm.

“No thanks dude, totally warm enough”, Stiles went to put on his shoes only for Derek to glare at him, thrusting the coat into his face. “Come on man, I’m fine,” rolling his eyes, Derek grabbed onto Stiles arm, forcing part of the coat on, “jeeze, jeeze, alright!”

Stiles took the rest of the coat from Derek, shrugging it on violently, “there happy?” He asked starkly, Derek smirked, opening the door and walking out.

Stiles rolled his eyes dramatically, shucking on his shoes following Derek out the door, the Camaro was there, and he must have gone home to get it.

Stiles hustled himself over to the car, getting in with a huff. “So _Alpha,_ when Deaton calls you crazy and tells you men can’t have babies, what then?” Derek glanced his way, “what then what?” He asked, Stiles rested his chin on his hand, looking out the window, refusing to make eye contact with the older man next to him.

“What about us?”

Derek’s eyes stuck to the road, not responding.

Stiles nodded, more to himself then anything, “right, okay, gotcha.” Turning his body away from Derek completely, arms crossed over his chest. Derek made a noise, almost like a half grunt, glancing from his peripherals, Stiles noticed the grip the older male had on the steering wheel.

“I’m not exactly boyfriend material.” Derek stated, Stiles rolled his eyes.

“That wasn’t what you were telling my dad earlier,” he responded, squishing himself further into the seat, Derek letting out a deep sigh.

“It was better for your father to think we- we were intimate before this happened,” yet again Stiles felt his eyes roll in exasperation, almost of their own accord.

“Yeah, because fucking doesn’t count as intimate,” Stiles snarled.

“No, but fucking and knocking his son up after one time might seem a bit off”, snapped Derek, pulling down the road leading to Deaton’s.

“Whatever dude, let’s just get this over with so Deaton can explain some common knowledge to you, then after that we can forget this stupid thing ever happened”, Stiles glared out of the window, Derek didn’t respond, simply pulled up to Deaton’s office.

*****************

“Congratulations you two, it seems the mating was a success”, Deaton told them an hour later with a smile.

Derek turned, giving him a smug look, which turned sour at the expression of sheer horror on Stiles face.

“ **Excuse me.** ” Stiles gasped, hands twitching mid-air, as if his voice wasn’t enough to express the emotions he was feeling.

“Indeed, the test came back positive”, Deaton elaborated, the smile still there, Stiles shook his head.

“No-no, no. I spend enough time on the internet, and Wikipedia, I know for a fact that when men piss on a pregnancy test the only reason it turns out positive is if it’s prostate cancer, which thanks by the way better get that one checked out now,” he hopped off the counter, “now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go back to the land of the sane and normal, which involves **no male pregnancies.** ”

Stiles moved to walk out when Deaton stopped him, “you better sit back down Stiles, there are a few things I need to explain.” Hesitantly, Stiles sat back down, Derek’s condescending smirk back at full force.

Stiles felt ill.

“This sort of thing isn’t uncommon, in fact you aren’t the first male pregnancy I’ve dealt with.” Deaton began, turning to pick up the test.

“As for this, first of all, you are far too young to even be thinking about prostate cancer, let alone contracting it. Second, this is a special test, I keep them stocked just in case something like this happens, it’s designed to pick up werewolf specific hormones that coincide with alpha mating’s.” Deaton handed it over, Stiles looked at it, it looked like a regular pregnancy test, long and white, he had peed on the end, and the stupid blue cross sitting there, telling him he was pregnant.

“But, how?” Stiles was lost, this went against every known biology fact he had ever learned.

“As you know, the only wolf that can make other wolves is the Alpha, it is a biological trait that is in every wolf, but only emerges upon the passing on, whether by death or killing of the previous one.” Deaton took the test back, “as such, an alpha is also the only one who can have werewolf children with another human, any other wolf if they want born werewolves for kids will have to breed with another wolf.”

Stiles nodded, “Okay, still doesn’t explain how I could be pregnant, which I still don’t believe by the way.”

Deaton ignored him, “as for male pregnancies, if an alpha takes a male mate, whether human or wolf, their sperm will trigger changes in their partner’s biology. The hormones I mentioned before are inserted into the body, and are allowed to take hold while knotting occurs.”

Stiles blushed, remembering that part of the previous night.

“When all is said and done, if the pregnancy took hold it would become immediately apparent, by the change in scent, and this,” Deaton pulled a jar out, holding it for Stiles to smell.

Uncapping the cork, Stiles leaned in, taking a huge whiff, almost instantly feeling sick. “What the hell is that?”

Deaton smiled again, “Monkshood, also known as wolfs bane, your body knows it is carrying a werewolf child, and thus is rejecting anything that could harm it.”

Stiles went white, “holy shit, this is for real isn’t it?”

Deaton nodded, “I’m afraid so.” Turning around he picked up a book, then handed it over to Stiles.

“A few things you should know, pregnancies like these are shorter than human ones, they range from about five to six months. Another is that most end in twins, much like Derek and Laura.” He went over to a wall, grabbing a calendar from it.

He flipped it to the next month and circled a few dates, handing the puppy covered monstrosity to Stiles.

“A few dates you need, once you make up your mind.” Deaton explained.

“What are they?” Asked Stiles, eyes not leaving the thing.

“Well this here is your approximate due date,” he said pointing to a date five months in the future, “this will be your first ultrasound, and this is the last possible date for termination of the fetus.”

Stiles face shot up, only it was Derek who responded, “ **What.”**

Deaton kept his eyes on Stiles, “the option is there, if you feel that you don’t want this you’ve only got four weeks to decide, after that abortion is too dangerous for you.”

Derek looked livid, “He’s not getting rid of it, that isn’t an option.”

Stiles shot an angry glare Derek’s way, “it’s not your decision on whether I keep it or not.”

“I’m the father.”

“So am I, and last time I checked this thing was growing in my body.” Snapped Stiles, standing up.

“Deaton, thank you for your help, I’ll get back to you in the next few weeks to let you know my decision,” Deaton nodded, walking out to give Derek and Stiles some space.

“Stiles, you aren’t getting rid of our child,” Stiles turned on him, angry.

“Who said I even wanted this in the first place?!” He exclaimed, arms flailing. “I’m eighteen years old for Christ sake! That was my first time! I lost my virginity last night, did you know that? Did you even notice, did you even care!? Besides the fact that I’m a fucking man!” Stiles voice broke near the end, he was rambling, and his eyes watering; this was too much.

“And the worst part is the only reason last night even happened was because your wolf thought I smelt good.” Turning away, Stiles hid his face in his hands, he knew Derek could tell he was crying, but at least he couldn’t see.

Derek swore loudly, kicking a table hard enough to dent it’s metal corner.

“Stiles, that’s not-fuck- that not it, that’s not even close.” Derek said, grabbing his shoulder, Stiles pulled away, refusing to turn.

Derek made a pained noise, “do you know how much I fucking want you, all the goddamn time, not just because your scent.”

Running a hand through his hair, Derek continued, “You make me want to do things, nice things, just to make you smile.”

Stiles turned slightly, Derek trekked on, “you do that you know, smile, constantly smiling, like your face is about to split open. Over the stupidest things too; nothing even special.”

Stiles turned Derek’s way, to find the alpha looking at the floor, an unreadable expression on his face, “but that’s what makes you you, what makes you so incredible.”

Stiles sniffed, wiping the tears away on the edge of his hoodie.

“Derek what are we doing here.”

Derek looked up at him, “I don’t know, but I’d like to find out.”

Stiles took a step forward, hand reaching out, but pulling back at the last second, Derek finished the distance, lacing his fingers through Stiles.

“Please don’t get rid of it,” Derek’s voice was a desperate whisper, Stiles looked at their entwined hands.

“We’d be a package deal…” Stiles began, his heart breaking at Derek’s hopeful stare.

“I refuse to be a stay at home dad,” he went on, “also you have to promise to stay around for everything, that includes diapers, and parent teacher conferences, no running away.”

Derek’s head looked like it was about to nod, Stiles went on.              

“And, if whatever this is between us doesn’t work out, you have to let me go, no hassle, let me be with someone else, let you be with someone else.”

Derek tensed from beside him, “if this happens, there won’t be anyone else, at least not for me,” he responded quietly.

When Stiles looked up at him, Derek was looking away, his other hand buried deep in his coat pocket.

“So a forever thing?” Derek nodded.

“Okay, I- I could maybe see what that would be like.”

Derek looked at him,  eyes searching, trying to read Stiles.

“Okay,” Derek murmured, grip tightening on Stiles hand.

*******************

The pair walked out of Deaton’s hand in hand.

Neither uttering a word, not during the drive, not even when they reached Stiles house.

When Derek pulled up to his house, Stiles got out of the car, and walked up to his front door; pausing, waiting for the older male to get the picture and join him.

It didn’t take very long for Derek to get the message, turning the ignition off he got out of his car, meeting Stiles on the steps on the porch.

Without word Stiles walked in, Derek following.

As soon as the door shut Stiles was on him, pushing him against the wall to kiss his way into Derek’s mouth.

The man froze, Stiles pulled back, “shit, sorry, I thought-“

Derek lunged forward grasping onto Stiles hips pulling him back into the kiss.

Stiles looped his arms around his alphas neck, all the while Derek pulling Stiles in at the waist.

The kiss was hot, desperate, and so different from last night’s quick fuck.

Last night, Stiles suddenly realized with clarity that this was their first kiss, he broke away.

“Jesus,” he said, touching his lips, Derek looked confused, “what’s wrong?”

Stiles stared at Derek’s collar bone, refusing to make eye contact, “that was our first kiss.” The silence ticked on, Stiles finally looking up at Derek to see the man looking completely ashamed, eyebrows drawn together, deep in thought.

“Hey, remember, no running away.” Derek turned back to him, and with a nod dove back down.

The kiss was different from the first.

It was slow, agonizing, Derek leaving small pecks on his lips.

It was a kiss made for melting, collapsing into one another for support.

When his lips parted for Derek, Stiles felt his knees weaken as Derek’s tongue traced his bottom lip.

The kiss moved on though, as Stiles fingers laced through Derek hair, pulling gently.

It turned into something dirty once again.

Derek clawing at his hoody, Stiles reaching beneath Derek’s shirt.

“Bedroom, bedroom right now,” he panted, Derek grasping his thighs, lifting him up so Stiles could latch on at his waist.

Derek bit onto Stiles neck gently, drawing a moan out of the young man as he walked through the bedroom door, kicking it shut as he passed.

Sliding along the bed, Derek broke away long enough to pull his shirt off, Stiles catching on quickly did the same, removing his hoodie then t-shirt. Lifting a hand, Derek gently ran his hand along Stiles’ side, eliciting a shiver from the young man.

Grabbing his neck, Stiles pulled him back into a kiss (because hey, kissing was good).

Reaching between them, without breaking the kiss, Derek unzipped Stiles jeans; reaching inside to pull out Stiles dick, his underwear encasing his balls.

Stiles reciprocated, pulling Derek from his ridiculously tight pants (like seriously, they were almost painted on).

Slowly Derek began jerking Stiles off, the young man gasping into the kiss.

Eyes slitting, Stiles did the same.

They continued their slow pace, until Derek became desperate.

Letting go of Stiles, Derek spat into his hand, reaching back down to swat the hand off his dick.

He grasped them both, running his hand along both their dicks.

Stiles arched, moaning into Derek’s mouth, fingers clawing at his back as he thrust into the hand on his cock.

 Derek broke the kiss to bit at Stiles neck once again.

“Der-“ Stiles whined, panting into Derek’s shoulder.

The older man sped up his hand, until the only noises heard was the slick sound of Derek’s hand on them, and Stiles little breathy moans.

Nuzzling at Stiles neck, Derek came first, grunting as he shot out between them.

Stiles soon followed, losing his cool at Derek’s helpless face as he orgasmed.

Making sure not to crush him, Derek collapsed to the side, whipping his hand off on Stiles bed.

Both men catching their breath, but neither speaking for a long while.

“I’m pregnant.” A moment, “yeah.”

“And you’re the father.” “Yeah.”

“Fuck.” “…yeah.”

Stiles turned his head lazily to look at Derek, the other man doing the same.

“I expect you to take care of my every whim.” Derek rolled his eyes, Stiles gasped in indignation.

“Excuse you! I’m the one who’s going to be swelling up like a watermelon! With the aches and swollen feet, and the cravings! I forgot about those, expect calls at four am asking for fried chicken or something weird like that.” Stiles paused, Derek raised an eyebrow.

“And sex, I expect lots of that, pregnancies make people horny as hell, you’re on booty call duty.” Derek snorted, pulling Stiles closer.

“Stiles,” “Yeah?” “Shut up and go to sleep.”

Stiles scoffed but moved closer towards Derek.

“Hey Derek?” “Hn?” “Thanks for not leaving.”

Derek stayed silent; eventually both of them fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Yet again, I feel like I could end this here, but if you guys want me to continue let me know.


End file.
